Friday, January 15, 2010

And people wonder why lawyer jokes are still so popular.

I guess we all knew it was only a matter of time before the esteemed members of the bar jumped feet-first into the matter of "electrosensitivity"-the purported malady that some people suffer when they're in the vicinity of certain radio waves-which since the days of Maxwell, Edison and Marconi has been pretty much all the time, but let's not go there. (Actually, if you consider cosmic radiation, homo sapiens has been bathed in electromagnetism since before developing the ability to walk upright, but let's not go there, either.) One of them, a certain Arthur Firstenberg of Santa Fe, NM, who seems to have made a career out of being a victim, has now sued a neighbor for injuries allegedly inflicted by her Wi-Fi network, among other things, as reported by James Hart on his excellent "Crime Scene KC" blog hosted on the Kansas City Star's website, and by the Huffington Post via Yahoo.

While we have in the past here laughed at the idea that anyone could really be "allergic" to Wi-Fi, this particular turn of events at least has the potential of becoming dangerous. Just think about it for a moment. What if Firstenberg lucks out and draws a judge who doesn't throw him out of court on his ear, and then incredibly manages to prevail at trial? What business owner would risk continuing to offer free Wi-Fi-or, for that matter, the play-for-pay kind-during the years it could take for that verdict to wind its way through appeals? While I've never been much of a conspiracy theorist, I don't think it's totally implausible that Big Telecom might not be too unhappy at such a result-at least at first. Then again, one of the "other things" Firstenberg is going after his neighbor for is her use of an iPhone. Perhaps Ma Bell and her handmaidens ought to give this a second look.

And I can see the cable-TV ads now, can't you? "If you have lived or worked in the vicinity of a Wi-Fi network and have suffered an illness or injury, you may be entitled to compensation..."

Oops...sorry, I almost forgot. Preface that last with "I am a non-attorney spokesperson."


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