None dare call it cyberbullying.

Methinks the thugs the big movie studios have hired to threaten suspected online pirates into forking over settlement money without a fight have grown a bit big for their britches, given this story from Des Plaines, Illinois. Either that or the robots they use to spam out their extortion messages can't discern the difference between a person and a library.

Well, at least the library had the backbone to come back at them with "Look, here's proof we paid for all the copies of your crappy film that we own, and if that isn't enough for you we'll see you in court." A better response than the one we saw from the panicked politicos of Coshocton County, Ohio a year and a half ago, don't you think?

That said, the library is probably taking a good step by strengthening its acceptable use policy's provisions against copyright infringement-even if it's still very unlikely they'd ever catch an illegal downloader in the act. A better one would be to ban peer-to-peer file sharing-at least in its present form-altogether.

Save your brains and fingers, torrent fans. Don't give me that blather about how legitimate software vendors are using P2P for distribution and support; any software worth buying-and any freeware worth using-is still going to be available from traditional safe sources that don't put customers at risk.

P2P is simply going to have to legitimize itself before gaining acceptance. That means it's going to have to attract investors willing to follow Napster's lead-by kicking out the pirates, pornographers and cybercrooks, making sensible deals with content providers (and if Big Entertainment's thinking is still too twentieth-century to catch the rising tide, maybe going with Little Entertainment for starters will eventually force the big guys into the same corner iTunes maneuvered the Beatles into), and working with operating-system and security software vendors to remedy P2P's current status as a malware conduit. As long as anyone runs the risk of either getting a letter like the library received, or winding up serving time for distributing kiddie porn because their P2P client software passed it through their computer, the torrent community will remain a disreputable corner of the Internet, sorely in need of a Times Square-like makeover.

And frankly, I hope it gets one. Even though public hotspots are getting faster all the time-take a gander at how good users at Chandler, Arizona's downtown public library have it, will you?-the P2P infrastructure might still offer advantages. Those advantages, however, simply don't justify having to wade through the cesspool that currently lies before them.

No Irish need apply?

OK, it's St. Patrick's Day...so sue me.

Anyway,  I decided to roam around Westport a bit after work-more for old times' sake than anything else; my nights of March madness around there are long gone, along with most of the venues in which they took place-and, of course, keep a sharp eye out for potential new unwired locations.  I might as well not have bothered, what with the only viable candidate being a new tobacco shop (ugh!) which at least was honest enough not to tout its WPA-encumbered offering as "free."  (Memo to the proprietor(s):  I didn't see anyone in your establishment chomping down on one of your exquisitely priced offerings while pecking away at a keyboard between puffs.  So...how's locking down that network working out for you?)

And speaking of-well, you see, there was this big tan tent out in the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue not far from the aforemetioned business, with a zipped-down entrance and a uniformed guard in front-and a sign clearly stating "VALID U. S. ID REQUIRED."  I resisted the temptation as long as I could, finally giving in and asking a young lady just outside who was obviously an associate of whatever enterprise was being conducted within exactly what was going on in there that wasn't fit for foreigners.  Her response was not one question but two:  "Are you 21?" and "Do you smoke cigarettes?"

Now, I suppose I could have effected my best brogue and implored whether on this day of all days, they would truly deny one fresh off the Old Sod, just for want of an American-issued...naaah!

And to conclude this on-topic, I dropped in again at the Westport branch of the KCMO Public Library to post this, and while I'm happy to report that the two-hours-per-day seating limit signs I saw here around five years ago are gone, so, unfortunately, are the power outlets I found then as well.  Only two pairs of them are readily apparent now-one on each side of a post between a couple of tables in front of the checkout desk.  Better news than that, though, is that even if you have to go battery only, you'll have the speed to get plenty done before recharge time, what with just over 7 megabits per second down and 3 up.

You say you want a revolution...

I've asked before, and I'll ask again:  Where are all these iPads and now competing tablets that are supposed to be sweeping us stodgy old laptoppers into the past alongside keypunch cards and 5 1/4-inch floppy drives?  I've been at the Plaza Library since having gotten off work, and I'm currently one of a half-dozen Wi-Fi users here-all using laptops.  Frankly, I've never run across a tablet user at a hotspot yet.  I did notice someone with a netbook here earlier this afternoon, but that's the lightest artillery I've seen deployed during this operation.

Clearly, tablets are in demand-Apple just launched the second iteration of the iPad today to great fanfare-but you've got to wonder what that tidal wave of buyers is using them for afterward.  They don't appear to be frequenting Kansas City area hotspots with them, that's for sure.

By the way, I ran a speed test here earlier and hit 12-count 'em, 12!-megabits down and nearly 3 up.  Fastest I've ever seen here.  Has fiber finally made its way to Midtown?